Lately, when I wake in the morning life feels heavy. I wonder how I am going to find the wherewithal to pull back the covers and place my bare feet on the floor.
I feel as though I live in the shadow most of the time. This year I have made it a goal of mine to face that shadow and embrace it; to acknowledge and accept this part of myself that I have fought against for years.
It is pretty common for me to scoff at the idea of light. This is in great part due to the tendency of some light leaning folks to demean or diminish the part that shadow plays in our lives. We are told that dark is negative and frightening, that light illuminates and guides. We should shine a light so bright that it destroys the shadow altogether.
I find darkness to be a safe place. Yes it is heavy and trying, and there are days when it feels as though it might eat me up, but it has also made me strong. It has made me patient. It has taught me to use senses other than my sight. I listen. I breather. I shiver with the touch of the night breeze...
But the dark is also often lonely. And while I do not want the light to wash away my dark haven, light, the soft light of our hearts that we each carry, can illuminate the path to others. This light is not the sort that drowns out the shadows with florescent intensity; no, it is the trail of luminaries that guide us to the sacred circle, to the fire, to the place where we can gather and connect.
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