Yesterday I walked to the edge of the sea where I sat staring out at waves watching eider ducks dive and boats cross the harbor. I listened to the waves with my eyes closed and just, for a moment, let myself be.
This afternoon I stood up from my desk to stretch and saw my kitty sprawled across my bed. I'd left the mattress heater on and she was reveling in the warmth.
This past week has been one of the toughest weeks of my life. I have never lived with such uncertainty or fear before. I am worried for the direction of our country. I am afraid for the safety of my friends and my family. I am reading in the news of cases of assault, abuse, hate crimes and all manner of awfulness occurring. It feels as though the world is falling apart. Things are not good.
And then there are these small beautiful moments that are in such contrast to all of the awfulness. It feels like the whole world has turned ugly and yet here are these things the sky, the ocean, my wonderful Miss Pickles, that are apart from all of this. They are, for now at least, untouched by the current state of things.
I know they do not fix things They do bring me a slice of peace, a moment to step outside of everything else, and they do serve to remind me that there is beauty still in the world.
And even though I feel a sort of guilt for pausing in the midst of this upheaval to enjoy these moments, I hope that no matter how bad things get, and I believe they will get pretty bad, that I don't stop noticing them. Because I don't think it will mean that they are not happening, I think it will mean I've gone too deep into despair to pay attention.
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