As an author of a blog about living single and living alone,
I am pretty much obligated to write about that holiday that is the ultimate
celebration of being paired off, the day that we are all expected to worship at
the altar of coupledom…Valentine’s Day.
Right now there are about 101 articles out there on the web
about how to “survive” Valentine’s Day if you are single. There are those that will tell you it’s a
tribute to love and that you are perfectly okay in celebrating the day with
your best friend (a fine idea if you ask me and one I’ve certainly done), there
are others that will tell you to make lists of your best qualities and take the
chance to celebrate yourself and be your own Valentine (also not a bad idea)
and there are plenty of angry rants about how we should ignore the day all
together, it’s all just a bunch of over Hallmarked holiday hype. I’m not going to write about any of those
things.
Yes, I do think it is over hyped and that if you are half of
a couple that celebrates the day you are likely to find yourself under a stupid
amount of pressure to do something over the top to demonstrate how devoted you
are, and it certainly isn’t the first holiday that has come to have the
expression of its more humble meaning tied to displays of excessive
consumerism, BUT I don’t dislike Valentine’s Day. For
me it pretty much stopped being exciting sometime around middle school when the
powers that be determined that we were now too old for the annual ritual of
stuffing cards festooned with cartoon characters into doily enhanced, heart
shaped envelopes taped to the front of our school desks. As an adult, when I was dating someone, I was
pretty much the one caught with the confused look on my face, stuttering about
how “Oh, yeah… I was going to do something but I just got so busy and…it got
lost in the mail?” as I was being handed a bouquet of flowers and heart shaped
box of chocolates. In other words, in
my world, the great V-Day is pretty much a non-event. Though Deeply Discounted Chocolate Day that
follows on the 15th has always been a date circled and highlighted on
my calendar.
However, for those who do feel left out, excluded, annoyed
or who just would rather being doing something else I am here to offer up some
alternatives. I have scoured the web far
and wide to find for you the following events which also happen to fall on
February 14th, along with a celebratory suggestion for acknowledging
these alternatives to Valentine’s Day.
1859 – Oregon is admitted as the 33rd U.S.
state. In addition to being the home
of the other Portland, Oregon
produces 95% of the domestic hazelnuts grown in the United States. I’m sure that there are other things Oregon
is known for BUT since hazelnuts are part of what makes Nutella one of the most
awesome things you can spread with a knife which is pretty much all I needed to
know. This February 14th we
should all take a moment to raise a hazelnut flavored something or other to the
State of Oregon. May she “alis volat
popriis” for many years to come.
1886 – The first trainload of oranges leaves California. Down with scurvy!!!! Yes that’s right. One hundred and twenty six years ago on
February 14th a train car full of sweet citrus headed east on the Transcontinental
Railroad. California’s been growing them
and we’ve been eating them ever since.
Of course, chocolate oranges are one of my favorite sweets but I don’t
think they grow those on trees. However, in
honor of those vitamin C packed orbs, orange chocolate would be an appropriate
way to celebrate that momentous occasion (and hey…if you wait a day, you might
get it 50% off).
1920 – The League of Women
Voters founded. Founded by Carrie
Chapman Catt in Chicago, Illinois six months before the ratification of the 19th
amendment, the Leave of Women Voters sought to empower women who had recently
been granted the right to vote in their states.
Personally I think the celebration of this event calls for some sort of
themed party, where everyone dresses up as their favorite suffragette and
brings a casserole. Of course, you’d
likely wind up with a room of Susan B. Anthonys, so in order to prevent such an
occurrence you may want to include the following link in your evite (http://www.history.com/topics/women-who-fought-for-the-vote)
1929 – Sir Alexander Fleming discovers penicillin.
Well to be more accurate this is the anniversary of the day that Sir Fleming
shared his discovery with the world, and while penicillin can’t cure a broken
heart, it can cure certain other equally unpleasant by products of love…and you
know it’s also known to cure sore throats.
Getting a quick fix in the form of a pill is a good thing, however as
the old saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” so perhaps
one could celebrate this day by handing out free condoms to all your friends. It can also be an excuse to not clean your refrigerator because to throw away anything moldy on February 14th would dishonor his memory.
And finally if you need another holiday altogether to
celebrate I offer up to you National Ferris Wheel Day, National Crème-Filled Chocolates Day and my favorite
International Quirkyalone Day, which this year is all about Celebrating Your
Secret Single Behaviors (and yes…we all have them). In
honor of this year’s International Quirkyalone Day theme I shall dance around my apartment in my underwear, an old
wool sweater and knee high polka dot socks to the sounds of the mambo punk band
Babaloo; have an extra long conversation with my cat; spend a solid three minutes staring into the depths of my empty fridge and eat bacon for lunch...just bacon.
Happy Oregon Orange Suffragette Penicillin Ferris Wheel Creme-Filled Chocolate Quirkyalone Day to you all. May it be all that you hoped it would be.
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