Tears & Pooping (or Wine and a Hatchet)

Thanks to the wonders of the Period Tracker app for my iPhone I have just had the realization that when it comes to my hormonal cycle my bowels and my mindset are very much in sync. Yes my friends, the same day that I get a case of the monthly grumpies that I can’t shake, I generally also find myself bloated and constipated.   Today is that day.  So, not only am I in one of those moods where the right song will likely make me sob or break something (which I’ll then cry about), I’ve also not yet pooped today.

Okay, I’m sure several folks have just rolled their eyes, hit the back button and returned to whatever page linked them here; a few are giggling like slumber party ten year olds telling fart jokes (you said POOP!) and the rest are nodding in solidarity (Oh yes my spinster friend, I’ve soooooo been there too.  Here, have a glass of wine and a hatchet).

I’m not about to launch into one of those annoying ‘oh-how-I-hate-my-girly-parts-and-why-do-they-make-me-suffer-so’ rants.  I’m pretty much at peace with my monthly cycle.  It is what it is, and that thankfully includes a fair amount of predictability.  I know that 24 hours from now, my bowels and my emotions will have returned to some sort of state of, um, regularity. 

In the mean time I am indeed having that offered glass of wine but the hatchet is being substituted with “I Sell the Dead” on Netflix.  Tonight may not end in pooping (heh heh…you said…), but at least it won’t end in tears.