Coffee and a Cup of Gratitude

Sometimes having everything go right puts me in a bit of an off mood.   I’m happy for all the good in my life but I’m also distracted, sometimes a bit cranky and I’ve had a few moments where I’ve felt close to tears.    These are not the predominant feelings in my life but they are there more than usual.  I think they are connected to the feeling of being overwhelmed with all that is going on.    I am feeling all of the things that people feel when they have a lot to do and limited time resources to do it in; stressed, worried if I’ll get it all done, fear of letting someone down, tired…tired…tired…

Many of the projects I am working on right now are on-going.  While their parts may have completion dates the overall goals for them will take years to achieve.  I might get a really great paper done for a class, but I still have the entire semester and 24 more months to complete.  My troupe might finish a fabulous show at a local theater but there two more shows coming up, a tour schedule to plan for next year, and a media kit to finalize.  And then of course there is just the process of everyday living, eating right, getting enough exercise and sleep, managing my money properly…and taking time for myself.

There are two things that generally get me through times like this:  coffee and gratitude.   The first does not need much explanation.  During busy times coffee is what gets me up from the bed to get things done and it is what fuels those late nights to, well, get things done.  Gratitude however does not come freshly poured from a cup at the touch of a button.  Gratitude is something that takes a little effort. 

This morning while lying in bed thinking of all I have to accomplish this week and mentally running through all of the available hours in each day and allocating them to particular tasks that need doing, I began to feel that wave of, “Oh crap how am I going to do this? I’m going to be exhausted and cranky, I’m never going to get it all done, ugh…what what I thinking?”  As I began to consider that maybe turning off the alarm, pulling the covers over my head and pretending the world was only a figment of my imagination was a really good idea, The Voice of Reason popped into my head and said,

“Quit whining!  Quit whining and be grateful you have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. ”

The Voice of Reason can be abrupt but the point was made.  I am grateful to have so many things I want to accomplish, and in thinking about what I want to do I began to realize how much I’d already done.  I took a moment be thankful for all that has happened to bring me to where I am right now.   I’m thankful for a lot of other things and I plan to spend a bit of time each day this week taking stock of everything I am grateful for.   

Right now the top of that list is coffee.