Living Alone (a spinster list)

I've lived in my own apartment for just over two years now and I've found that during this time I've developed some, well...some habits that are definite indications that I am quite comfortable with this lifestyle.  Actually, I'm more than comfortable, I downright proud of my solitary status.

Today I share with you a list of ten signs that I not only enjoy living alone, but I should probably keep it that way.

1. At the moment, there isn’t a doorknob inside my apartment that doesn’t have some sort of undergarment hanging off it.
2. English muffin pizza topped with sliced hotdogs has become an acceptable dinner.
3. The sniff test is the standard used to ascertain the wear-ability of clothing and to determine the risk level of ingesting certain items in my refrigerator.*
4. Peanut butter + spoon = lunch
5. I can make it from my bed to the bathroom and back with my eyes closed (because you know, if I don’t open my eyes, I’m not really awake).
6. The only reason I have paper napkins, is because I might run out of toilet paper.*
7. The dinner table is only used for its named purpose when there are other human beings present.
8. Some of my interactions with the resident felines include two way conversations and reading interesting snippets from books and news articles aloud (just to be clear, I’m the one doing the reading). 
9. There have been occasions that I have not answered the phone because a really good song came up on my 80s Pandora station.
10. Inside the confines of my living space, pants are a purely optional item of clothing.*

*These three can also be signs that one is on the verge of moving from spinsterhood to becoming a dude. I'm dangerously close...